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April 22, 2019: More on healing narcissism


Healing narcissism is all about dismantling the ego. Notice how this makes you feel. What does narcissism and ego mean to you? 

If you are comfortable with this idea without feeling triggered in any way, chances are you have a healthy relationship with your ego and your narcissism. 


The dismantling of the ego is a personal process and will look different to everyone. It's all about shifting your relationship with your ego. For some it may mean living with more gratitude and awareness, for others it may mean finding new friends, changing jobs or life partners and for others it may mean stripping material possessions down to the bone.  


It has nothing to do with money either. Someone can be very wealthy and have a healthier relationship with their ego than someone who is poor and lives in lack. Money is one of those scare words that prevents people from living in abundance where needs and true desires are effortlessly met. 


Society teaches us that we need a certain amount of money and comfort to be secure in this world. As ego gets dismantled and narcissism healed, a new reality sets in where life becomes magical and filled with miracles. 


Happy Monday! 


April 10, 2019: Choosing to birth a new consciousness for the world- being tough to be kind


Each time you make the choice to practice OTFG- my 4 pillars to living mindfully and healing the heart- Openness, Trust, Forgiveness and Gratitude you also make the choice to participate in the birthing of a more loving consciousness- a consciousness that is kinder, gentler, softer, more accepting and flowing. The caveat is that to get there you may need to make tough decisions, draw a hard line, stand up for what you believe in, on occasion upset people and sometimes even get them angry. As you face your vulnerability and begin to feel strong emotions that may be buried deep you will start to drop the mask. I believe that it is only when you stop pretending you are perfect and reveal your imperfections can you truly remember that you truly are, have always been and will always be PERFECT.


Open: Get curious about new ideas, people, places, things...

Trust: Allow and let go

Forgive: Take responsibility

Gratitude: Joyful acceptance


April 5, 2019: Understanding narcissistic tactics of abuse


Some examples of narcissistic tactics of abuse:


Triangulation

- Gossiping: Speaking about someone in a negative way behind their back so they cannot defend themselves

- Using gossip to set a person up for attack and/or isolation 


Gaz lighting 

- Denying someone's reality: Accusing them of lying or not stating the truth 

- Accusing someone of being crazy, weird, overly sensitive or other derogatory label  

- Engaging in belittling behaviour
- Using humour in a wounding way


Silencing

- Ignoring, not listening, discrediting, dismissing...



April 1: Are your stress reduction strategies preventing you from making the changes you need ?


How do you manage your stress levels? Do your relaxation strategies prevent you from making the changes you need to make to your life? Are you sabotaging your goals by using your stress reduction strategies as tools to procrastinate? Though relaxation techniques, whatever they are, are useful in helping us manage stress, sometimes they offer too much relief in that we end up neglecting areas in our life that needs attention.


Look at your stress reduction strategies:

Yoga, Meditation, Energy Work, Massage, Sports, Exercise, Food, Alcohol & Drugs, Parties and social activities, Work...


Look at some areas in your life that may be causing you stress: 

Are you ignoring your health and not making the time to exercise and eat healthily?

Do you need to make and follow a budget?

Are you living beyond your means and need to lower expenses? 

Do you need to look for a job?

Is the balance of energy equitable in your relationships? 

Are you spending a suitable amount of time following your dreams and doing what you love?

Are you enjoying a satisfying work/life balance


Some changes that you are perhaps hiding from:

Finding a new job or career

Ending or starting a new relationship

Health and lifestyle changes

Managing your finances

Tending to a child's struggles

Addressing family issues



March 27, 2019: Top 10 reasons why healing from narcissism matters


If you are on a spiritual path of connecting to who you truly are and to what really matters to you, you will want to heal your narcissism as best you can. This does not mean you need to give anything up or change your habits, healing is all about building awareness of how and when you abuse your power and how it affects the world and those around you. The spiritual path is all about learning to manage and grow your own power without taking more from others than you can give back. It's about honouring the law of karma and give and take.


Notice how the word narcissism makes you feel? Do you feel triggered at all? I have noticed that many people are uncomfortable with the very word. They automatically get prickly and quickly point a finger to their narcissistic friend, parent, spouse, child rather than look at themselves first. If this sounds familiar, addressing this shadow may be a good place to start.


Here is my top 10 list of why healing from narcissism matters

1. Narcissism leads to abuses of power
2. Narcissism gives rise to narcissist leaders
3. Narcissism feeds narcissist institutions
4. Narcissism creates and upholds unfair laws
5. Narcissism breeds fear, judgment and gossip
6. Narcissism holds back healing and growth
7. Narcissism impacts mental, emotional and financial well being
8. Narcissism is unloving 
9. Narcissism fosters patriarchal systems that are controlling, divisive, hierarchical

and competitive
10. Narcissism discourages the sharing of personal truths




February 25, 2019 : Rate your narcissism here - How much of a narcissist are you? 

Everyone has narcissistic tendencies, so it's not about not having any of these traits. It's more about noticing them within yourself and how they prevent you from connecting to the LOVE that you truly are. If this resonates with you, rate yourself on a scale from 1 to 10 rate for each narcissistic trait and see how you do. The more honest you are with yourself, the more you will get out of this exercise. Enjoy!

- I feel frustrated when people do not agree with me
1 (disagree).................................................................................10 (agree) 

- I judge and criticize people.
1 (disagree).................................................................................10 (agree) 


- I barter values for rewards.
1 (disagree).................................................................................10 (agree) 

- I blame others rather than take responsibility.
1 (disagree).................................................................................10 (agree) 


- I feel superior to some and inferior to others.
1 (disagree )...............................................................................10 (agree) 

- I try to "convince" rather than simply "share" my thoughts.
1 (disagree).................................................................................10 (agree) 

- I  try to "fix" rather than "accept" the situation as is. 
1 (disagree).................................................................................10 (agree) 

- I see emotion and vulnerability as a sign of weakness.
1 (disagree).................................................................................10 (agree) 

- I use humour in a way that belittles.
1 (disagree).................................................................................10 (agree) 

- I get people to question their sanity by randomly calling them "crazy"

or labelling them. 
1 (disagree).................................................................................10 (agree) 

- I try to control situations and people rather than "let go" and "allow".
1 (disagree).................................................................................10 (agree) 

- I focus on success in terms of status, money, possessions and credentials

and other extrinsic markers and ignore intrinsic benefits.
1 (disagree).................................................................................10 (agree) 

- I seek pleasure and avoid any discomfort in all areas on life.
1 (disagree).................................................................................10 (agree) ​​



Here’s a little game I created called “Move into your Heart“

Take a few moments and read the items in each list. Compare each item from list A with the corresponding item from list B. 

List A: Ten things people seem to want and struggle to achieve 

Happiness, Money, Peace of Mind, Youth, Excitement, Success, respect, Security, Support, Recognition

List B:  Ten things people truly want and can easily achieve

Joy, Abundance, Simplicity, Wellness, Inspiration, Meaning, Openness, Trust, Forgiveness, Gratitude

Notice how focusing on the items from list A keep you in your head in a place of fear and worry whereas when you can switch your focus to the items in list B you can more easily move into your heart where everything is perfect just the way it is. 




Blog Thoughts

February 26, 2019 : More on how the proverbial devil and angels challenge you.





How they affect your spiritual journey back to wholeness





Depending on what journey you are, I have noticed that inner devils and angels show up differently. As you embark on the spiritual journey back to reconnecting to who you are and to what matters, they will figure more prominently as the invitation to heal and remember your wholeness takes on greater importance.  Understanding them, welcoming them and learning to work with them is key to softening the ride. 





Also known as 


Inner devil:  Inner critic, Ego 


Inner angel: Inner wisdom, Higher self





The journey back to remembering wholeness, like any journey, is fraught with its own set of challenges so being prepared helps avoid needless suffering. I believe that when you are ready for this journey, you send a signal to the universe. You are then asked, in return, to rise up to the occasion. How you are asked depends on what you need to remember your wholeness. 





Take a moment and notice what comes up for you here? What are you overly attached to? What do you think you could never do or never live without? The answer will offer a very good clue to how you will be asked to rise up to the occasion!




More is expected so more is asked of you. 





If this resonates with you, check out my book Stepping into Consciousness - A Guide to Living a Life of Joy, Meaning and Abundance to get more helpful tools to help you step up to this challenge.

Your devil will do whatever he can to prevent you from hearing the loving voice of your angel and will keep you busy with noise and distraction.
Your angel will step back when you are not listening so you need quiet, stillness and to stay close to the ground to hear her clearly.





Sometimes it is not right to shine your light, so sometimes the devil is helpful to keep you out of sight. Trust the process with the wisdom of your heart.





Your instincts become compromised when you are hurt and wounded but also, as you begin to heal and become more sensitive.  Accept that until you have come back to balance and your instincts fully restored you will be more susceptible to traps than usual. Your devil may try to take advantage of you so it's important to be especially vigilant during this time of upheaval. Until you find equilibrium again, find that place of gratitude and be ever so thankful for the opportunity the devil is sending you to become strong and healthy again.  

To read more on how these devilish angels can wreak havoc in your life and how humour and laughter helps to keep them in their place , enjoy my recent blog How to use humour to overcome self sabotage and create positive change. 





Remember that a wounded foot will not kill you, that bullets can always be removed and foots healed so when you do happen to shoot yourself in the foot, it really is not the end of the world. 





Namaste! 

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